I ran away

I ran away.

I ran away from my problems. Thinking if I can just remove myself from the equation, the problem would also seize to exist. But I didn’t realize, at least at that time, that I was the problem.

I ran away.

I ran away from my loved ones. I dreaded everyday that I will never live up to this person they see in me. I was petrified. Sooner or later they will figure out that I am just one big pretender with an ego of a size of an elephant to admit it.

I ran away.

I ran away from my goals. All the things I was going to accomplish, and all the things I had already accomplished. How many great chances have I missed out on? Just because I was scared. Scared that it might not happen. Or even worse, scared that it might happen.

I ran away.

I ran away from mediocrity. One day I looked around and all I saw was nothing but average people, living mundage life. Nothing exceptional. Everyone is content. Or even worse, just defeated. I ran away.

I ran away out of pure selfishness. I didn’t mull over about leaving my parents, who are old and fragile and at the point in their life that actually need me the most. I pray for their well being everyday. I didn’t consider my little sister who is in desperate need of some guidance in her life. I abandoned my friends and my colleagues who were planning to take on the world head on in a middle of a fight. Out of pure selfishness.

I ran away.

I ran away instead of fixing the problems. Instead of admitting my issues and not substituting it with substance abuse… Instead of becoming a leading player in something small in scale, yet grand in impact, I chose to become an additional cog in an already working machine.

I ran away.

I ran away from my adversaries, my old flame, my failed business partners, my own mediocrity. At what cost?

I ran away. With a tear in my eye.

I ran away.